According to professional skier, Chemmy Alcott, you can see them from a mile off. The man who got overly excited about the “bend ze knees” lesson, or the woman who thinks that extra wiggle to her turns best shows off her behind in her too tight trousers. But which one of these skiing clichés best describes you? You’ll spot your family in an instant, but if you can’t find yourself, we’re sure your friends would be happy to tell you who you are…

And if you work out which one you are, don’t be afraid to tell us in the comments & in our Facebook competition, which could win you ski flights!

Charlie, Mr. Big Chat


What he’s wearing

Snow-blades and a hat that would look ridiculous on a jester.

On the slopes

He learnt how to do a 360 on his mini-skis, so now he’s convinced he’s better than anyone on the piste. He’s an expert at the tuck-and-go, this one, though that doesn’t stop him taking out the occasional small child along the way.

Where to find him

Upside-down in a tree after he followed someone much better than him off-piste.

 

Saskia The Snow Bunny


What she’s wearing

Last night’s make up, lots of fur and clothing with some version of the label that reads: “designed by fashion-house for ski-company“.

 On the slopes

Mummy and Daddy put her on skis before she could walk, but from her first run of the day at noon, you wouldn’t know it. As she recovers from yesterday’s 12 hours of “apres-ski”, she’ll be putting in plenty of turns to make sure her tan is even, and stopping regularly for hot chocolate (or something stronger).

 Where to find her

At the chicest bistro at the top of the mountain, or getting the gondola back down. Skiing from the top of the chairlift to the restaurant counts as the day’s run, right?

 

Timmy, The Tiny Tot

What he’s wearing

Ski boots that come up above his knees, and a ski school bib from before he beat his group down the mountain and came to find you.

 On the slopes

If you thought you’d be skiing along holding this one’s mittens, you’ve got another thing coming. This little guy’s racing snowplow will have him whizzing at terrifying speeds, usually towards the next slalom course he can sneak into. And if there aren’t any around, watch out: you and the rest of the fam have probably just become his slalom gates.

 Where to find him

Hidden between the massive moguls half way down the only run on the mountain you’d given yourself permission not to attempt. Who needs a ski instructor to push you, when you’ve got a tiddler to follow?

 

Eddie, Of The Eighties

 What he’s wearing

Neon, lycra or a onesy, and the longest skis on the mountain. Also known as: things that should have been burnt 2 decades ago.

 On the slopes

Is that guy on a mono-ski? Nope, he’s just clung to the technique he learnt in his twenties from a man of the mountain called Hans. And it’s served him well – he’s always the first of his party to reach the bottom. Why? Because everyone else (especially his children) have hidden to avoid being seen with him and his excessive pole-planting.

 Where to find him

In the hotel basement, tuning his retro skis to perfection and dealing with the massive gashes he’s incurred from being unable to turn tight enough to avoid the rocks.

 

Mary, Mother Graceful

 What she’s wearing

A matching pastel neck-warmer and headband, pretty skis, and all of her jewelry.

 On the slopes

She could probably still out pace her children, but there’s no way this lady is putting that to the test. Style and stability are her goals now, and thirty plus years of ski holidays means she’s the last one upright. Which is good, because if she fell over, her knees might not get her up again.

 Where to find her

In front of the chalet fire, trying to get out of some uncomfortable-looking yoga pose.

 

Riley, The Sweet Rider

What he’s wearing

Clothing made for someone twice his size, and his trousers round his knees.

On the slopes

He’s nowhere to be seen. He’s either in a snow park getting gnarly air, or playing chicken with biggest cliff on the mountain.

Where you’ll find him

Hiding at the bottom of the half-pipe, after splitting his low-rise salapettes, or in hospital, getting another fluorescent plaster cast.

 

David, Dad-Knows-Best

 

What he’s wearing

A brand new helmet, the season’s flashiest skis, and a jacket with too many pockets full of Swiss army knives and GPSs.

On the piste

He’s desperately trying to keep up with his kids. And failing. He regularly stops them to tell them their speed isn’t safe, but, in fact, it’s his semi-snow-plow turns that are the liability.

Where you’ll find him

Next to the mountain map, looking the opposite way, convinced his satellite navigation phone (which is telling him he’s in the local Carrefour) knows better.

Ski Holidays Personalities

Have you identified yourself in one of these ski personalities? Why not enter our Facebook competition to go in to win free ski flights! Ts & Cs apply.

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17 COMMENTS

  1. So true! Although I’m no where near becoming a mother, I can somewhat identify with Mary, Mother Graceful. Style is key on the slopes! Love the drawings!

  2. Even though I’m no where near becoming a mother, I can somewhat identify with Mary, Mother Graceful. Style is key! Love the drawings!

  3. Very funny characters, so true to life! Humm, I recognize my son as Charlie, my husband as David. Will you add more women/girls? Can’t wait.

  4. All these characters are convincing me that staying in the lodge with an Irish coffee and a good book is the right choice!

  5. This is so true! I recognise my mum, my sister, my cousin (Mr. Big Chat!), and even myself as the snowboarder. Love this!

  6. How accurate! and how humorous. Freat job! I am definitely an Eddie, though never noticed my kids tryin to pretend they did not know me.

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